"Deep Down in Every Man, Woman and Child...
...is the Fundamental Idea of God; it may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of things, but in some for or other, it is there".
Page 55 of our Book is very clear on why the steps are vital to the recovery of the alcoholic. Up until this point the Book makes the case that the only thing that blocks us from God's help is the voice in my head - and the voice is entirely made up of ego. Like my friend Bob says, I have a judgment machine inside my head that is trying to kill me. It judges others (calamity), myself (pomp) and dependency on anything other than Divine Help for recovery from alcoholism. Basically, ego, ego, and again more ego.
In keeping with the spirit of my last post on St. Joan of Arc, I honestly believe that she heard the voice of God because she was pure, by happen chance or fate, and was quite simply the appropriate vessel humble enough to hear the quiet voice of God.
Personally, I am driven by a pack of crazy people that bark judgment all day long, and it is only in prayer and mediation that I find solace. Last summer when I had my spiritual experiences I also just reached the quietest point in my life of prayer and mediation, and I think maybe, just maybe, I was finally still enough to hear what I think God is whispering to us all the time - 'love one another, help one antother, take care of your brother, and I shall take care of you'.
Somebody I love and repsect very much today suggested I take a very close look at my ego, and I was so stunned by how marvelously obvious the need is for me to do another inventory I was actually shocked that somebody noticed it before I did. How's that for an overinflated ego?
Sigghhh...the good news is we have a practial program of action, and I need step work, step work and more step work. There is always more work to be done in AA. If I am bored, it's becuase I am lazy.
|Tonight marks 78/90 at the clubhouse and though I am ready for a change, I am grateful for it, them, and all they've done to help me.
They have all, every one of them, helped me in ways I cannot express. Mostly, by observing what's not done, more so than what is done.
God love us all, every one.
COG,
1st Cl.|
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Welcome as a witness to a fools journey out of the darkness. I welcome all tidings - you are all my teachers on this path toward a meaningful and purposeful sobriety.
COG, 1st Cl.