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Life is not Relative – There Are Absolute Rights, and Absolute Wrongs

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Integrity | 完整性

If You Must Sit in the Back... 

Sit on This
Lately I've been consumed with thoughts regarding morality, justice, and integrity; you know - recovery.  One of the first things I learned about AA that got through my thick skull was 'all the Third Step really means is:  If it's not yours don't take it, if it's not true don't say it, and if it's not right, don't do it'.  That I could understand.  It didn't keep me sober, mind you, but it was a galloping leap forward from where I'd been.

Today, integrity is happening TO me as a result of our steps and working with others;  I no longer have to seek it.  As a direct result of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I intuitively know how to handle one major situation that used to baffle me - life itself.

This is why I am often confused when I hear that there is gossip in AA, and I have to have newcomers explain to me why members of AA who have so much time (and we know this because they keep telling us) are being petty.  I no longer understand petty;  in fact, I no longer have a small bone in my body. This is not bragging;  this is the Great Fact of the promise of Step 9; for as a direct result of finishing the 9th step I have recovered from Alcoholism.

To put it another way, a wise man once said:

Great People Discuss Concepts 
(Spirituality, God, Recovery from Alcoholism)
Average People Talk about Things
(Home groups, motorcycleslength of sobriety)
Small People Gossip about Other People 

The daily question I must ask myself is:  "am I right sized"?  If the answer is 'yes, I am very small', then I have failed utterly, for it is when I rest in God that I am great. Lastly, now that AA has allowed me to  draw from the well of life, I must put myself in the other guy's shoes and try to remember how frightening the solution sounded when I was new;  this is the particular burden under which I suffer.  I no longer live in fear of the next drink;  God took that away on page 85 after I recovered from Alcoholism.  Today my fight is how to best carry this message with rectitude and love.  Above all, I must heed the warriors creed:

Say What You Mean
Mean What You Say
Just Don't Say it Mean

Put Yourself In Somebody Else's Place

So, my job now is to 'stand by the door'.  It is hardest to love the ones that need it the most.  That also is a terrible weight to carry.  Our book says that 'an alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature'.  Truer words have never been spoken.  The only thing worse than a know-it-all newcomer is a clueless old timer.  I'll say it again:  TIME DOES NOT MATTER.  All we have is the infinite now.  All consciousness begins with one breath.

We are all the same - children of God, first class.  None higher, none lower.  I love everyone in AA.  Some people I love so much, I have to stay away from them.

|...today was day 69&70/90 and I feel wonderful.  That clubhouse has taken hold of me; I shall not forget their kindness.  We got a pleasant surprise when a friend of a friend showed up from Nevada, representing a joyous contingent of 'wandering Big Book' thumpers.  Hope springs eternal, and AA never ceases to surprise and satisfy me.

God bless all of us, every one.

COG, 1st Cl.|

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Welcome as a witness to a fools journey out of the darkness. I welcome all tidings - you are all my teachers on this path toward a meaningful and purposeful sobriety.

COG, 1st Cl.