Which Step Would This Be?

The only problem with attending a 'First Step Clubhouse' is that most of the rabble can't count to Two - that's the God step, by they way.  But who can blame them for being sick?  As my spiritual advisor says:  "...no second step, no sanity"...In other words - Alcoholics who do not go past the first step are, by definition, crazy.  It's hard to take them seriously, let alone get angry at them.  Even in Brooklyn we know better than argue with an idiot.  What to do?  Oh I know - how about treat the disease of Alcoholism?

..."this was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done. We avoid retaliation or argument".
-4th Step Prayer, P. 67, Alcoholics Anonymous

|...today was one of the saddest days of my life, and that friends, is saying something. We live and die by our Traditions, and the lambs are being led to slaughter.  As a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, all I know is what worked for me - and when I hear that neither the God nor the Book are allowed to be discussed in an AA meeting from the Chairman, I'm not certain that I belong in the room.  My spiritual advisor has told me since day one that '...if's it's not in the Book Alcoholics Anonymous, it's not AA'.  Hmmm...that sort of takes the wind of that argument, now doesn't it?

This was actually the first meeting I've been to where I witnessed all twelve traditions being broke and there was no actual lightening - though I certainly smelled ozone.  It was essentially the worser parts of the Bible.

Why sad?  Because my spiritual advisor has instructed me to attend 90 consecutive meetings in the closest room I could find, because he (and I) know that AA is sufficiently powerful that if I TRY to observe the Traditons, I am absolutely safe and protected.  Also, I seem to remember that ..."we have ceased fighting anyone or anything, especially alcohol"...Hmmm...where have I read THAT before?

I think there used to be a Book on the podium that said that.

There are so many happier meetings, but my job right now is not to be happy, it's to be of maximum service to others.  The goal Alcoholics Anonymous is NOT to get our time on the Wall, but joy into the newcomers heart.  There is such a desperate sadness to clinging on to time - it weighs so heavily on my heart to hear them boasting that to which only my Father can provide.

Sigh...54 meetings down, 36 to go - but this is the easiest time in the world.  If my Father is with me, who can be against me?  If I were the man I were years ago, tonights meeting would have ended very differently.  My consciousness under these intolerable circumstances is testament to the very Book they defile.  That Book is keeping them alive.  They really don't realize that they are holding a wolf by the ears.  Trifle with AA if you dare, but do so at your own peril.  My Father is all powerful - are you?

I love each and every one, for without  you, I cannot stay connected to God.  You are my 'sheepgate'... Whenever I'm fighting for 'my rights', I'm wrong.  However, my Master has a rod as well as a staff - which one would you rather do business with?

COG, 1st Cl.|