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Friday, September 4, 2015

Sine Timere | 心配ありません | Sin Miedo | No Near

You cannot be truthful if you are not courageous.
You cannot be loving if you are not courageous.
You cannot be trusting if you are not courageous.
You cannot enter into reality if you are not courageous.
Hence courage comes first... and everything else follows.


“As the doubter tries the process of prayer, he should begin to add up the results. If he persists, he will almost surely find more serenity, more tolerance, less fear, and less anger. He will acquire a quiet courage, the kind that isn’t tension-ridden. He can look at “failure” and “success” for what these really are. Problems and calamity will begin to mean his instruction, instead of his destruction. He will feel freer and saner.”

As Bill Sees It,  328:1

The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. 

--Alcoholics Anonymous, 68:3

4-Sep-2015 | Happy Friday everyone!

     So, for a total of twenty years I took our Book into Penal Institutions;  usually groups of one hundred men my sponsor and I would get;  we'd each break into groups of fifty, and cover twelve chapters and twelve steps in twelve weeks.  Don't want to keep up?  No problem, you may leave, and take eleven weeks to think about how much better your life just got without the solution.  Most came back eager for what we had to offer - and grateful for the opportunity to have it..as were we.

     One of the great unexpected benefits I personally derived from this was clarity.  I learned that all resentments are basically one resentment, which is:  'I am angry at myself for not being superhuman enough to live up to everyone's standards, no matter how bloated or ridiculous they may be';  I have only one real harm, and that is:  'I have separated myself from you under the delusion that I am separate from you, when 'the great Reality' is that we are all connected, and whatever I do to you I do to myself'.  

     And then there's fear.

     Our Book calls it 'the evil and corroding thread' for a legitimate reason: fear destroy's everything good and worthwhile in our lives, drunk OR sober if we don't follow these dictates.  Fear is the little death we die one fear at a time until our entire lives are ceded I to a black nothingness of despair - all from our lack of dependence on the only true source oh Power I'm this universe, which is God.

     My experience after having listened to well of one thousand fifth steps is this:  I only have one real fear, and that is this:  'I am not enough'.  That's it.  That's all fear is, and here is both the bad news and the good news:  I'm right.  I'm not enough.  This is probably the only time during the inventory process we have accurate insight into ourselves, for!  on my own I have no clarity, no power, no moral goodness.  I need to depend on God - for everything that is good and worthwhile in life comes from her.  

     Our Book instructs us to take each fear to God and ask Her to remove this fear and turn our attention to help others;  it goes on to promise us that 'at once we begin to outgrow fear'.  It has been my considered experience that this works - always, and completely, when applied for as long as is necessary.

     On more than one occasion men I sponsor and people I know have remarked that I seem to often have 'no fear'.  They are usually correct.  I usually don't have fear.  Any fear.  Whatsoever.  I no longer fear life, I no longer fear death, I no longer fear God, and I no longer fear you.  


     Sure, the evil and corroding thread does occasionally weave it's way into my life, but because each day I recite  certain fear prayers as our program dictates I am perpetually each day inventorying my life for fear and asking HER to remove it AT ONCE.

     It works, it really does.  All of it. My total and utter lack of fear - just for today - is testament to Her amazing Grace & the wonder & utility of Alcoholics Anonymous.

     Becoming an alcoholic was the most wonderful  thing that has ever happened to me, for the recovery from it has made everything else possible.

     What a wonderful life we have in AA!  I am so overpaid.  Thank you for my life.

Yours in love and service,

-COG, 1st. Class.

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Welcome as a witness to a fools journey out of the darkness. I welcome all tidings - you are all my teachers on this path toward a meaningful and purposeful sobriety.

COG, 1st Cl.