Ticket to Ride | ロケット四次元に | Navigatio ut Deus

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"…NONE OF US LIKED THE SELF-SEARCHING, THE LEVELING OF OUR PRIDE, THE CONFESSION OF SHORTCOMINGS WHICH THE PROCESS REQUIRES FOR ITS SUCCESSFUL CONSUMMATION..."

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“… WE HAVE FOUND MUCH OF HEAVEN AND WE HAVE BEEN ROCKETED INTO A FOURTH DIMENSION OF EXISTENCE OF WHICH WE HAVE NOT EVEN DREAMED"...

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“…the great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves”.

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-Alcoholics Anonymous, p25

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|…here we go again, on life’s little merry-go-round… good news and bad news; but through it all I grow stronger every day.  As it turns out my illness is treatable, and with each passing day I gain acceptance and gratitude for having found out so early in its course; most people just turn yellow and die.  It turns out that alcoholics are more susceptible to early detection of this malady that I’ve contracted, for our livers weaken earlier in life and we show the early onset symptoms faster than ‘normal’ people’s lives.  …I’ll say it again:  anyone else see the hand of God here?

     It is my hard earned experience that that comfort is over-rated in AA; suffering IS good for the soul; it is the necessary elixir that propels us into our step work, which fuels the rocket that takes us into the fourth dimension every time (if you'll pardon me for over-extending the metaphor).  Certainly, nobody in AA picks up their pens for inventory five minutes after hitting the lottery.  At least nobody that this alcholics knows..

     One of my spiritual teachers says it this way:  “The Program of Alcoholics Anonymous is 95% Surrender – Followed by 5% Surrender”.  Bill Wilson put it another way:  “Pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth”.  My favorite though is where I made one of my first surrenders, in the Chapel of Our Lady of Victory on Wall Street, where, enshrined above the alter, is inscribed:  "I Can Do All Things Though He Who Strengthens Me”.

     In other words, God is carving those things which are blocking me from Her grace like a cancer;  and for this cure to work, Her deft swipes of the Divine Scalpel shall be administered *without* the benefit of anesthesia, for if it does not hurt, I will not let go of my defects of character;  there is no other way for alcholics of my type. However, I am finding through the haze of suffering brought about deflation of ego and form identiy that I have that which is promised all of us on page 25, that thing we find AFTER our rocket lands in the fourth dimension, which is “the peace of God that passes all understanding”.  Whatever happens will have to be all right, for ‘this too, shall pass’…

     Grateful, grateful, so desperately grateful am I to be alcoholic, for without my admission of personal powerlessness over alcohol, I never would have made that very first surrender to God in the Third Step, which the sweetest surrender of all…for it was the one that made all the other surrenders possible.

     My God I wish on anyone, for She is a merciful God, a loving God, and I find Her in the room of every alcoholics anonymous meeting I go to, and in the bottom of every heart I peer into, every time I take the trouble to look.  I may not yet be 'consummated', but I feel I am being devoured by the loving gaze of the almighty.  I see Her hand everywhere, in everything, and though all the pain, I feel her gently chipping away all those pieces of me which, were, well, never really me at all.  She is fitting me for some greater purpose, and for that purpose I must be tempered by fire and sculpted with a firm yet loving hand..

     I’m going to be all right, for I rest in God’s almighty Grace.

     And so it goes.

COG, 1st Cl.|