Sit vis Nobiscum | フォースがあなたと一緒に可能性があり | Que la Fuerza esté con Usted | May the Force be with You

---

     "For my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you. Here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere! Yes, even between the land and the ship."  

  --Master Yoda

---

     The great Tao flows everywhere.
All things are born from it,
yet it doesn't create them.
It pours itself into its work,
yet it makes no claim.
It nourishes infinite worlds,
yet it doesn't hold on to them.

Since it is merged with all things
and hidden in their hearts,
it can be called humble.
Since all things vanish into it
and it alone endures,
it can be called great.
It isn't aware of its greatness;
thus it is truly great.
--Tao te Ching, Lao Tsu, Ch. 35 (Mitchell Translation)

---

     When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.

-Alcoholics Anonymous, 51:0

---

     7-September-2015

     Happy Monday everyone!

     Took a desperately needed day off yesterday.

     Today has me thinking how I made the transition from faith to belief.  My story is not nearly important as yours, as your story is the font of all your personal Power.

Please take a moment and comment below and share your experience on the journey from faith to dependence.

     I am so overpaid.  Thank you for my life.

     Yours in love and service,

COG, 1st. Class.

---

---

Praeter per Quem Solventes | 減算によって追加 | La Adición por Sustracción | Addition by Subtraction

---

     ...the attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be.

--Alan Watts

---

     Right there, Step Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can't say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now. To acquire it, I had only to stop fighting and practice the rest of A.A.'s program as enthusiastically as I could.

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, 27:1

---

     Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.

--Alcoholics Anonymous, 64:0

---

     5-Sep-2015

     Happy Saturday everyone!

     Recently at a meeting we plowed through the more salient parts of 'We Agnostics' - which is really nothing more than a love story about God, and of course the obligatory 'Appendix II - Types of Spiritual Experience'.

     So much to talk about there!  We could spend a year on those paragraphs, and it would not have been a wasted year.

     Before we read I said a quick prayer to myself that as a group we would not miss the whole point of the second step and go down that oh-so-common step two rabbit hole, which typically involves discussion on WHAT the second step absolutely IS NOT, such as:  HOW I found God, or WHAT God is to me, or the NEED for God, or *...*,   *...*,   insert your 'human explanation or justification' here.

     Such discussion is way off the point, and beyond the comprehension of the newcomer, who is scared, beaten down and in dire need of moving forward with the solution, not wallowing in deep, self-important discussion on the need for or existence of God.  Let us never forget that the newcomer has a death sentence hanging over their heads and needs swift action rather than pointless rhetoric desperately.  Time is off the essence. To delay the spiritual experience is fatal.

        This is the trap people who have not had the 9th step experience fall into, for they do not yet have the whole picture.  Such pointless discussion actually kills alcoholics, for such discussion promotes THOUGHT, which is the very thing we're looking to put on hold till we get them to the ninth step.  New Ideas are a management decision, and we got out of the management business in Step One.

     NO!  The Book posits that the second step is the all about the subtraction of old ideas, not the introduction of new ones.  It goes on to tell us that if we are willing to face and be rid of our old ideas, we will get the new, right ones in due time.  

     When, specifically?  Glad you asked.  It goes on to say that in step five we will 'begin to feel the nearness of our creator'.  So - if the actual God of the newcomers understanding is going to knock on their door during their fifth step, then why oh why do we waste time trying to explain the reality or need for that which is coming to knock on their door and introduce themselves anyway to the newcomer in Step Five?

     I'm very grateful the man who came to me armed with the facts asked me a very simple question on my second day of sobriety, which was:  'do you believe I have found something in my life that is working for me'?  That's it, that's Step Two, folks.

   That's all it is.

     I am so overpaid.  What a wonderful way of life we have found.  I love each and every one of you.  Thank you for my life.

Yours in love and service,

--COG, 1st. Class.

---

---

Sine Timere | 心配ありません | Sin Miedo | No Near

---

You cannot be truthful if you are not courageous.

You cannot be loving if you are not courageous.

You cannot be trusting if you are not courageous.

You cannot enter into reality if you are not courageous.

Hence courage comes first... and everything else follows.

--Osho

---

“As the doubter tries the process of prayer, he should begin to add up the results. If he persists, he will almost surely find more serenity, more tolerance, less fear, and less anger. He will acquire a quiet courage, the kind that isn’t tension-ridden. He can look at “failure” and “success” for what these really are. Problems and calamity will begin to mean his instruction, instead of his destruction. He will feel freer and saner.”

As Bill Sees It,  328:1

---

The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. 

--Alcoholics Anonymous, 68:3

---

4-Sep-2015 | Happy Friday everyone!

     So, for a total of twenty years I took our Book into Penal Institutions;  usually groups of one hundred men my sponsor and I would get;  we'd each break into groups of fifty, and cover twelve chapters and twelve steps in twelve weeks.  Don't want to keep up?  No problem, you may leave, and take eleven weeks to think about how much better your life just got without the solution.  Most came back eager for what we had to offer - and grateful for the opportunity to have it..as were we.

     One of the great unexpected benefits I personally derived from this was clarity.  I learned that all resentments are basically one resentment, which is:  'I am angry at myself for not being superhuman enough to live up to everyone's standards, no matter how bloated or ridiculous they may be';  I have only one real harm, and that is:  'I have separated myself from you under the delusion that I am separate from you, when 'the great Reality' is that we are all connected, and whatever I do to you I do to myself'.  

     And then there's fear.

     Our Book calls it 'the evil and corroding thread' for a legitimate reason: fear destroy's everything good and worthwhile in our lives, drunk OR sober if we don't follow these dictates.  Fear is the little death we die one fear at a time until our entire lives are ceded I to a black nothingness of despair - all from our lack of dependence on the only true source oh Power I'm this universe, which is God.

     My experience after having listened to well of one thousand fifth steps is this:  I only have one real fear, and that is this:  'I am not enough'.  That's it.  That's all fear is, and here is both the bad news and the good news:  I'm right.  I'm not enough.  This is probably the only time during the inventory process we have accurate insight into ourselves, for!  on my own I have no clarity, no power, no moral goodness.  I need to depend on God - for everything that is good and worthwhile in life comes from her.  

     Our Book instructs us to take each fear to God and ask Her to remove this fear and turn our attention to help others;  it goes on to promise us that 'at once we begin to outgrow fear'.  It has been my considered experience that this works - always, and completely, when applied for as long as is necessary.

     On more than one occasion men I sponsor and people I know have remarked that I seem to often have 'no fear'.  They are usually correct.  I usually don't have fear.  Any fear.  Whatsoever.  I no longer fear life, I no longer fear death, I no longer fear God, and I no longer fear you.  

     Usually.  

     Sure, the evil and corroding thread does occasionally weave it's way into my life, but because each day I recite  certain fear prayers as our program dictates I am perpetually each day inventorying my life for fear and asking HER to remove it AT ONCE.

     It works, it really does.  All of it. My total and utter lack of fear - just for today - is testament to Her amazing Grace & the wonder & utility of Alcoholics Anonymous.

     Becoming an alcoholic was the most wonderful  thing that has ever happened to me, for the recovery from it has made everything else possible.

     What a wonderful life we have in AA!  I am so overpaid.  Thank you for my life.

Yours in love and service,

-COG, 1st. Class.

---

---

Nos vere Gaudium Vivendi | 私たちは本当に生活の喜びを持っています | Realmente Tenemos la Alegría de Vivir | The Joy of Living We Really Have

---

     The more one forgets himself — by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love — the more human he is."

--Victor Frankyl

---

     The joy of living is the theme of A.A.'s Twelfth Step, and action is its key word. Here we turn outward toward our fellow alcoholics who are still in distress. Here we experience the kind of giving that asks no rewards. 

--Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, 106:1

---

     Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds.  Father feels he has struck something better than gold...He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product. 

Alcoholics Anonymous, 129:0 (edited)

---

---

Deus Gratificavit Nos | 神があなたに彼女のグレースシェッドています | Dios ha Derramado Su Gracia en Ti | God Has Shed Her Grace on Thee

---

     If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life. What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization.

--Abraham Maslow

---

     AA can take you as far as your natural born talents and abilities will go, provided! 
You follow those few simple dictates.

--Jimmy Laffey, The Bay Ridge Group, circa 1994

---

     Your imagination will be fired.  Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your life lie ahead.

--Alcoholics Anonymous 152:2

---

     2-Sep-2015 | Happy Wednesday everyone!

     Today has me thinking about the bleak period in the beginning of my journey in AA.  12 and 12's were the order of the day;  Big Books were mentioned mostly as an optional relic of the past, the last refuge of 'the extreme'.  

     The Old Man used to say to me:  'never let anyone read your Big Book for you'.  Perhaps the greatest piece of wisdom he ever conveyed to me.  Why is this?

     One simple reason.  99% of everything I hear in a traditional AA meeting is flat-out wrong.  Somewhere in our history our society has been fairly over-run with group therapy guru's, rehab-speak, cross fellowship solution identification and a multitude of well-meaning non-alcoholics conveying possibly every 'solution' to alcoholism other  than the solution.  'Get a girlfriend', 'join the gym', 'don't get to hungry, angry, lonely, tired' are among of the few empty, meaningless one liners offered me as a spiritual program of action by a host of well meaning, non 'real' non-alcoholics.

     Perhaps the greatest lie of all, and I heard it again and again, was:  'the only thing that AA promises us if that we don't pick up the first drink we can't get drunk'.  This is so outrageously incorrect on so many levels we shall save it for another discussion.  Suffice it to say though that I wanted MORE! I sensed MORE!  I craved MORE!  There had to be more to life than suffering from one dreary dry day to another;  my white knuckles ached at the prospect of fighting that next drink one bleary day at a time - forever.

     Eventually I drank again, thank God I drank again!  Now, I can't blame the disease carriers;  surely somewhere along the way I heard the actual message of hope;  I just wasn't ready to hear it. However, beaten into the proverbial state of reasonableness, I 'became as willing to listen as only the dying can be.

     When I was fortunate enough to have a moment of Grace when what I pray was my last drink, the man that came to me didn't ask me how I felt about God, the program of AA, prayer - or anything at all for that matter.  He didn't ask because he knew all my attitudes and outlooks were soiled through the dark, dreary lens of alcoholism.   Because he was a man 'armed with the facts', he knew precisely how to treat my alcoholism, and rapidly at that.  He taught me about the 'two baskets'. He used to say:  'kid - put all your problems in a basket;  your homelessness, joblessness, loneliness, whatever, put it all in a basket;  now shove it to one side and forget about.  Don't talk about it, certainly not an AA meeting, just forget about it.  Now, put a second basket directly in front of you and fill it with all things AA:  meetings, stepwork, service, helping others, etc., and focus and work ONLY on that AA basket, and watch God magically empty your problems basket.

     Sounds insane, right?  Well, to the untreated alcoholic it does, to be sure.  But to my great surprise, the problems basket began to empty;  slowly at first, then rapidly, and always in direct proportion to the effort I put into my AA basket.

     Then after about five years of this an amazing thing happened;  whereas in my first five years problems seemed to keep showing up in my life for no real reason, now opportunity began to show up.  You see, I was to discover that when one puts all their energy into working the full AA basket which is nothing more really than helping God's kids, - following Her dictates - that she diverts so much POWER into our lives to help those kids that there is ALWAYS an abundance of it left over to start directing it - under Her loving gaze - into achieving all those positive, heretofore impossible goals in my life I had long ago given up on.

     Because of twenty one years of working my 'AA Basket', not only is my 'Problems Basket' COMPLETELY EMPTY, but I am fully actualized;  every dream and prayer I've ever had has come true;  I WANT FOR NOTHING.  Yet I still keep plugging away at that AA basket, trying to help God's kids, for I have learned perhaps the greatest of all lifes' truth, in and out of AA, which is:  I can only be happy if I am selflessly giving to others.  If I try to help you to get what you want, God makes sure I get what I want, provided my dreams are not selfish and self serving.

     What a wonderful life we have in AA!  I am so overpaid.  Thank you for my life.

     Yours in love and service,

--COG, 1st. Class | Megan D., Editor in Chief

---

---

Nihil Magnum | Lビッグ・トラブル | La Gran Nada | The Big Mitote

---

     I think -

Therefore I suffer.

--Dave Joyce

---

      Stop thinking

And thus end all problems.

--Tao te Ching 20 (tr. Mitchell)

---

     This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Though some of us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings. Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reason.

--Alcoholics  Anonymous 48:0

---

---

Non Animus est, non Gloria | 勇気ませグローリーありません | Sin coraje, Ninguna Gloria | No Guts, no Glory

---

     “Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”

--Confucius

---

     ...And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

--Rudyard Kipling

---

     What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God.

--"Alcoholics Anonymous", 28:2

---

     30-Aug-15

     Happy Sunday everyone!

     'It is always darkest before the dawn'.  We all know that, we all identify with that, yet from time to time we all need to hear it.  In  'The Shawshank Redemption' Andy Dufresne tells his friend that 'hope is a good thing, maybe the greatest of things, and no good thing ever dies.'.  As Red would go on to say much later when his hope returned:  'that's damn right'.

     There are highs and lows in life as in sobriety, to be sure. But being an alcoholic of the perpetually self-piteous type, whenever I am 'in my cups' I am certain that this program - all of it - will work for all or you, and you will - all of you - get the full benefit of all the happiness, joy & bounty in God's universe, yet somehow I am beneath God's grace.  Sure, the sad little tale typically goes in my head, She may keep me sober, but She and I both know I'll never be as good as the other little boys and girls.

     Then one day the miracle happens.  Inventory turns to steps six and seven, followed closely by steps eight and nine where prescribed, and then one day - seemingly out of nowhere - voila!  The sky seems a little brighter, my food has more savor, my music has more, well, music.  All becomes right with the world once again.

     'Don't give up five minutes before the miracle' they say, and yes I agree, and yes that is my experience, for the miracles we long give up on, yet still patiently serve God nonetheless, always come, and always wrapped in God's infinite will and grace, and these miracles are the sweetest of all miracles, I assure you.  

     For one blissful moment in time, the 'four hideous horsemen' are unseated by 'patience, tolerance, kindliness and love', and 'the peace that passes all understanding' has it's glorious way with us.

     Until those 'worldly clamors' come rushing in again, of course, but therein hangs the tale of the utility and vitality of steps ten, eleven and twelve.  What a glorious life we have all of us been granted in this reprieve we call alcoholics anonymous.

     I love each and every one of you.  Thank you for my life.

Yours in love and service,

--COG, 1st. Class.

---

---

Nuntius Insequar | このメッセージを運びます | Llevar este Mensaje | Carry this Message

---

      I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where; 
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight 
Could not follow it in its flight. 

I breathed a song into the air, 
It fell to earth, I knew not where; 
For who has sight so keen and strong, 
That it can follow the flight of song? 

Long, long afterward, in an oak 
I found the arrow, still unbroke; 
And the song, from beginning to end, 
I found again in the heart of a friend. 

--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

---

     The seed has been planted in his mind. He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered.

--Alcoholics Anonymous 113:1 

---

      28-August-2015

     Happy Saturday everyone!

     Today has me thinking about numbers.  The Old Man used to say:  'for every ten men I give my number to, one will call;  for every ten that calls, one will show up at my house;  for every ten men that shows up at my house, one will return.  For every ten that returns, one will finish his fourth step.  For every ten that finishes his fourth step, one will start his ninth step.  For every ten men that starts his ninth step, one will finish.  Those are they that recover from alcoholism'.

     This too has been my experience, for sobriety, like most things, is a numbers game. This disease of ours 'that tells us we don't have a disease' is patient, cunning and baffling.  What seemed like a good suggestion from our sponsors yesterday often seems extreme today, once we begin to feel better.  In my experience 'relief is the enemy of recovery'.

     I have been fortunate to have sponsored nearly two thousand men, yet less than 100 have finished their ninth step.  The rest have drifted away into the seemingly more comfortable ranks of the two-fold solution, or worse, have drank and or died.

     However!  There are those that come back.  Those are the ones I look for, wait for, hope for.  The occasional ninth step finisher gives me the experience, strength and hope to keep reaching out to any who is looking for a way out, and the occasional ray of hope is all that is needed to sustain me to keep plugging away, for watching a man walk away from this work - this way out - this stairway to heaven, if you will, is a grim business, and watching them drift back into the cold, dark world of selfishness and self-contentedness wears you out sometimes.

     I am grateful for all of them, for each has been heaven-sent to help this tired old pilgrim on his journey home.

     I love each and every one of you.  Thank you for my life.

Yours in love and service,

COG., 1st Class | Megan D., Editor

---

Inde Perditio, Expecto | 破壊、トレジャーから | Fuera de Ruina , Esperanza | Out of Ruin, Hope

---

      Where there is ruin,
there is hope for treasure!

--Rumi

---

     It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way...

--Charles Dickens, "A Tale of Two Cities"

---

     Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known! 

--“Alcoholics Anonymous”, 11:4

---

     31-Aug-15

     Happy Monday everyone!  Thinking today about my first few weeks in AA...thirty years old, no education, friends, family who have anything to do with me, money or self-respect, I honestly thought I'd spend the rest of my life washing dishes, perhaps in a furnished room, with little or no prospects.

     And I was ok with that, provided I never had to drink again.

     My forward view of what has actually come to pass for me illustrates in its most specific relief why lying or bragging is an absolutely ridiculous activity for me on those (hopefully) rare occasion I backslide on these uglier chunks of myself;  the reality is that I could never make up or imagine how great a future God has for me.

     To illustrate I could point toward my education, professional achievements and awards, social empowerment, etc., but I am (I hope) moved far past obsessing on the material.  No!  The touchstone of all that I have found is a deep and effective relationship with God as I understand Her;  from that simple relationship flows all power in my life;  power to help others, power to run my life and I believe She would have me, etc etc etc..

     No sadder words are ever spoken in our meetings than 'we are powerless over people, places and things'.  We hear it so often many of us are led to assume it's part of our program;  I assure you it is not.  What the Book does effectively make the case for is that 'lack of power is our dilemma'.  In fact, in 'We Agnostics', the word "Power' appears four times in one paragraph alone (45:1).  However, the book goes right on to say in the very next paragraph how to get this Power, and then again it says again and again and again.

     I'd go so far as to say that if lack is Power is my dilemma, then the only real problem I every have ever is where and how to find this power;  i.e.  'where am I with God and the steps'?

     As a direct result of the steps I found in a program I found through a God I found in a Book I've found called "Alcoholics Anonymous", I have found and unending, always available and sometimes over-abundance of power from which to help others, and therefore so much is left over it naturally spills over into every other area of my life.  

     My whole life until I first began to sponsor men I felt weak and insignificant.  This Power has lifted me to a level of life better than the best I have ever known with a true view of who I am, and what my role in this life is.  Most people search their whole lives for this simple truth and never find it.

     I have come to rely on this Power;  it is my great secret.  Because of it there is no arrogance or delusion in acknowledging that just for today I am one of the most powerful men I know, for I turn my heart and mind and energy every day into tapping into that Power - so I may have enough of it to reach and help Her kids.

     How did I discover God's great power?  By begging God for the power to help her kids.  Notice there is no 'Dear God Please Help Me Stop Drinking' prayer in AA;  no!  In every prayer we ask God to help us help others, and it is there that this miracle of power is infused into our hearts, thoughts and minds.

     What a wonderful life we have in AA!  And it all starts with us admitting we've had the snot kicked out of us.  I love each and every one of you.  Thank you for my life.

Yours in love and service,

-COG, 1st. Class | Megan D., Editor in Chief

---

---